All Quotes

"mental ground zero - the location where one visualizes oneself during the dropping of the atomic bomb; frequently, a shopping mall. (page 63)"

"metaphasia - an inability to perceive metaphor. (page 164)"

"mid-twenties breakdown - a period of mental collapse occuring in one's twenties, often caused by an inability to function outside of school or structured environments coupled with a realization of one's essential aloneness in the world. Often marks induction into the ritual of pharmaceutical usage. (page 27)"

"musical hairsplitting - the act of classifying music and musicians into pathologically picayune categories: "The Vienna Franks are a good example of urban white acid folk revivalism crossed with ska." (page 85)"

"native aping - pretending to be a native when visiting a foreign destination. (page 172)"

"now denial - to tell oneself that the only time worth living in is the past and that the only time that may ever be interesting again is the future. (page 41)"

"nutritional slumming - food whose enjoyment stems not from flavor but from a complex mixture of class connotations, nostalgia signals, and packaging semiotics: Katie and I bought this tub of Multi-Whip instead of real whip cream because we thought petroleum distillate whip topping seemed like the sort of food that air force wives stationed in Pensacola back in the early sixties would feed their husbands to celebrate a career promotion. (page 120)"

"obscurism - the practice of peppering daily life with obscure references (forgotten films, dead TV stars, unpopular books, defunct countries, etc.) as a subliminal means of showcasing both one's education and one's wish to disassociate from the world of mass culture. (page 165)"

"occupational slumming - taking a job well beneath one's skill or education level as a means of retreat from adult responsibilities and/or avoiding possible failure in one's true occupation. (page 113)"

"o'propriation - the inclusion of advertising, packaging, and entertainment jargon from earlier eras in everyday speech for ironic and/or comic effect: "Kathleen's Favorite Dead Celebrity party was tons o' fun" or "Dave really thinks of himself as a zany, nutty, wacky, and madcap guy, doesn't he?" (page 107)"

"overboarding - overcompensating for fears about the future by plunging headlong into a job or life-style seemingly unrelated to one's previous life interests; i.e., Amway sales, aerobics, the Republican party, a career in law, cults, McJobs,... (page 26)"

"ozmosis - the inability of one's job to live up to one's self-image. (page 25)"

"paper rabies - hypersensitivity to littering. (page 127)"

"personality tithe - a price paid for becoming a couple; previously amusing human beings become boring: "Thanks for inviting us, but Noreen and I are going to look at flatware catalogs tonight. Afterward we're going to watch the shopping channel." (page 143)"

"personal tabu - a small rule for living, bordering on a superstition, that allows one to cope with everyday life in the absence of cultural or religious dictums. (page 74)"

"platonic shadow - a nonsexual friendship with a member of the opposite sex. (page 62)"

"poor buoyancy - the realization that one was a better person when one had less money. (page 82)"

"poorochondria - hypochondria derived from not having medical insurance. (page 74)"

"poverty jet set - a group of people given to chronic traveling at the expense of long-term job stability or a permanent residence. Tend to have doomed and extremely expensive phone-call relationships with people named Serge or Ilyana. Tend to discuss frequent-flyer programs at parties. (page 6)"

"poverty lurks - financial paranoia instilled in offspring by depression-era parents. (page 137)"

"power mist - the tendency of hierarchies in office environments to be diffuse and preclude crisp articulation. (page 25)"

"pull-the-plug, slice the pie - a fantasy in which an offspring mentally tallies up the net worth of his parents. (page 137)"

"QFD - quelle fucking drag. "Jamie got stuck at Rome airport for thirty-six hours and it was, like, totally QFD." (page 120)"

"QFM - quelle fashion mistake: "It was really QFM, I mean painter pants? That's 1979 beyond belief." (page 120)"

"rebellion postponement - the tendency in one's youth to avoid traditionally youthful activities and artistic experiences in order to obtain serious career experience. Sometimes results in the mourning for lost youth at about age thirty, followed by silly haircuts and expensive joke-inducing wardrobes. (page 106)"

"recreational slumming - the practice of participating in recreational activities of a class one perceives as lower than one's own: "Karen! Donald! Let's go bowling tonight! And don't worry about shoes... apparently you can rent them." (page 113)"

"recurving - leaving one job to take another that pays less but places one back on the learning curve. (page 24)"

"safety net-ism - the belief that there will always be a financial and emotional safety net to buffer life's hurts. Usually parents. (page 34)"

"sick building migration - the tendency of younger workers to leave or avoid jobs in unhealthy office environments or workplaces affected by the Sick Building Syndrome. (page 24)"

"spectacularism - a fascination with extreme situations. (page 50)"

"Squires - the most common X generation subgroup and the only subgroup given to breeding. Squires exist almost exclusively in couples and are recognizable by their frantic attempts to recreate a semblance of Eisenhower-era plenitude in their daily lives in the face of exorbitant housing prices and two-job life-styles. Squires tend to be continually exhausted from their voraciously acquisitive pursuit of furniture and knickknacks. (page 135)"

"squirming - discomfort inflicted on young people by old people who see no irony in their gestures. Karen died a thousand deaths as her father made a big show of tasting a recently manufactured bottle of wine before allowing it to be poured as the family sat in Steak Hut. (page 112)"

"Strangelove reproduction - having children to make up for the fact that one no longer believes in the future. (page 135)"

"status substitution - using an object with intellectual or fashionable cachet to substitute for an object that is merely pricey: "Brian, you left your copy of Camus in your brother's BMW." (page 54)"

"successophobia - the fear that if one is successful, then one's personal needs will be forgotten and one will no longer have one's childish needs catered to. (page 30)"

"survivulousness - the tendency to visualize oneself enjoying being the last remaining person on earth: "I'd take a helicopter up and throw microwave ovens down on the Taco Bell." (page 62)"

"tele-parablizing - morals used in everyday life that derive from TV sitcom plots: "That's just like the episode where Jan lost her glasses!" (page 120)"

"the tens - the first decade of a new century. (page 163)"

"terminal wanderlust - a condition common to people of transient middle-class upbrings. Unable to feel rooted in any one environment, they move continually in the hopes of finding an idealized sense of community in the next location. (page 171)"

"ultra short term nostalgia - homesickness for the extremely recent past: "God, things seemed so much better in the world last week." (page 96)"

"underdogging - the tendency to almost invariably side with the underdog in a given situation. The consumer expression of this trait is the purchasing of less successful, "sad", or failing products: "I know these Vienna franks are heart failure on a stick, but they were so sad looking up against all the other yuppie food items that I just had to buy them." (page 137)"

"vaccinated time travel - to fantasize about traveling backwards in time, but only with proper vaccinations. (page 11)"

"veal-fattening pen - small, cramped office workstations built of fabric-covered disassemblable wall partitions and inhabited by junior staff members. Named after the small preslaughter cubicles used by the cattle industry. (page 20)"

"virgin runway - a travel destination chosen in the hopes that no one else has chosen it. (page 172)"

"voter's block - the attempt, however futile, to register dissent with the current political system by simply not voting. (page 80)"

"yuppie wannabe's - an X generation subgroup that believes the myth of a yuppie life-style being both satisfying and viable. Tend to be highly in debt, involved in some form of substance abuse, and show a willingness to talk about Armageddon after three drinks. (page 91)"

"They have the still North in their soul, The hill-winds in their breath, And the granite of New Hampshire is made part of them till death."

"Vox Clamantis in Deserto"

"When better women are made, Dartmouth men will make them."

"Don't join the book burners. Don't think you are going to conceal thoughts by concealing evidence that they ever existed."