All Quotes

"Proteus: Joseph Fiennes"

"Sinbad: Brad Pitt"

"Look, this is the way it works. First, I actually commit a crime, then you get to blame me for it!"

"How can one woman do so much damage? [ship cracks] Uh..."

"[While going to rescue Marina from the giant roc] Oh, she couldn't see that bird? Everyone else saw it. Big as a freakin' ship. Marina? Marina's looking the other way."

"Uh... yeah?"

"Let's get rich!"

"You, my... my ship!"

"Now, stand by for sushi."

"Give that guy a raise."

"Pray to the gods. We may be meeting them soon."

"See, in the hands of an expert, a good knife has 1,001 uses."

"[to Marina] Yes, we've done this sort of thing before, no, there is no other way, and yes, you have my permission to stand there quietly while I give you a free lesson in sailing."

"[while it is cold and Kale is bare-chested] Woah! Get a shirt on before you poke someone's eye out!"

"[About a sailor on Proteus' ship who was spat up by the sea monster and kept fighting] Give that guy a raise!"

"[in an argument with Marina] A ship is no place for a woman."

"[to Sinbad, anger and losing my patience] You... you egotistical, disrespectful, pretentious, pompous, self-centered, cantankerous, untrustworthy, ungrateful, impossible, insufferable...."

"Honestly, you are the most boorish, pig-headed man I've ever met."

"Are you crazy! I saved your life!"

"[to Sinbad] Repressed?! I'll show you repressed!"

"[to Eris] You're wrong about him! You don't know what's in his heart!"

"[to Sinbad, heartbroken] I can't watch you die! [whispers] I love you."

"[About Sinbad] He's so cute. And so gullible."

"Enough talking! Time for some screaming."

"[Has just impersonated Sinbad attacking the guard in charge of the Book of Peace] I love playing pretend."

"[At the edge of the world] We are going to die!"

"[to Marina] Indeed, signorina. Only the most foolish of captains would dare sail through this."

"Eris: Michelle Pfeiffer"

"Grum and Chum: Andrew Birch"

"Jed: Conrad Vernon"

"Jin: Raman Hui"

"Kale: Dennis Haysbert"

"King Dymas: Timothy West"

"Li: Chung Chan"

"Luca: Jim Cummings"

"Marina: Catherine Zeta-Jones"

"[looking through Fester's suitcase] Crowbar... dynamite... cyanide. Fester- as if we'd run out."

"And our credo, "Sic gorgiamus allos subjectatos nunc"..."We gladly feast on those who would subdue us". Not just pretty words."

"Wednesday, play with your food!"

"Thing, you're a handful."

"Don't torture yourself, Gomez- that's my job."

"Gomez, last night, you were unhinged. You were like some desperate, howling demon. You frightened me. [pause] Do it again!"

"[looking through an armoire] Uncle Nick-Nack's winter wardrobe... Uncle Nick-Nack's summer wardrobe... Uncle Nick-Nack..."

"They say she danced naked in the town square and enslaved a minister! But don't worry, we told Wednesday, "College first.""

"[watching Pugsley sleep] He looks so sweet... just like a little entrée."

"[to Tully] Dirty pool, old man. I like it!"

"[Watching Morticia sleep] Look at her. I would die for her. I would kill for her. Either way, what bliss."

""How do you take it off?" That's absurd! That finger trap was a party favor at his 10th birthday! He wore that finger trap for two years! Mother had to teach him to eat with his feet!"

"Spirits above me, give me a sign! Shall I be joyous, or shall I be damned?"

"Taught to us by our Cossack cousins, the Mamushka has been an Addams family tradition since God knows when. We danced the Mamushka while Nero fiddled. We danced the Mamushka at Waterloo. We danced the Mamushka for Jack the Ripper. And now, Fester Addams, this Mamushka is for you."