"Well, Gardenboy, as a crafty ring veteran, I can let you in on a little secret. Being an awesome wrestler has nothing to do with awesome wrestling moves! It’s all about awesome costumes, gimmicks and dinosaur tranquilizer fueled ranting and raving. I got my first big break with cable access’ longest named wrestling organization, All World Mid-Pro Shirtless Championship Entertainment or AWMPSCE. Of course they wanted me to be one of those lame masked wrestlers at first but I have gimmickier plans."