"Alanis Morissette and I actually used to date. I especially liked it when we went to the movies."

"That's something the kids should know about. Reading is a gateway to witchcraft and lesbianism."

"I wrote "Eat It" because I wanted to buy a banana boat for Christmas. It worked."

"I have very mixed feelings about [Napster]. On one hand, I'm concerned that the rampant downloading of my copyright-p…"

"What kind of bananas do you have working at newspapers in Austin that would base an entire review of an artist's perf…"

"I think my chances of getting into the Rock 'N' Roll Hall Of Fame are about as good as Milli Vanilli's."

"Right now I'm listening to a lot of Top 40 music, because THAT'S MY JOB."

"Many years ago I found out something about hamburgers that really grossed me out. You may not know this, so I hope I …"

"If money can't buy happiness, I guess I'll have to rent it."

"My brothers and sisters all hated me 'cause I was an only child."