"[Asked if she ever had childhood holidays in Blackpool] No. What do you take me for? We used to go to Vienna."

"We'd like to apologise to our viewers in the North - it must be awful for you."

"Sometimes I think that being widowed is God's way of telling you to come off the pill."

"[Song]] Not bleakly, Not meekly Beat me on the bottom with the Woman's Weekly Let's do it, let's do it tonight!"

"I was just thinking as Alan [Bennett] and I walked up the steps, how nice it would have been if one of us had come up…"

"[On a difficult relationship with her mother, Helen] If she'd only gone out to work, we would all have been a lot hap…"

"[Asked if being interviewed is a form of torture for her] No, people always think I hate doing interviews. I don't. I…"

"[On remaining unattached after a divorce] Well, I think there's not much of a chance for me finding somebody of my ag…"

"The Italians have got opera, the Spanish have got flamenco dancing. What have we got? Weight Watchers."

"People think I hate sex. I don’t. I just don’t like things that stop you seeing the television properly."