"Angela Merkel: [singing] I thought they were my friends I thought that we were cool Now I'm like the schlummy dummy no-one likes at school Behind my back they're laughing Especially the Brits They're like, "Angela, whatever." Those stupid Brexit shits On the refugees I acted The moment when I ask for help they all gang up on me All on my own Here I am All on my own Who gives a damn? Ratings at an all time low Oh, man, it makes me blue Oh, Birgit, baby, be a buddy Tell me vhat to do Birgit: Don't let those schweine get you down They do not have a clue You're the EU anchor EU banker That's why they hate you Angela Merkel: Too true! Birgit: We've always worked things out Since we were oh so small Angela Merkel: So small! Birgit: Dreaming of another life on the right side of the wall Angela Merkel: I used to be so va-va-voom It all was so light-hearted Now when I walk into a room it's like, "Mein Gott, who farted?" All on my own [Birgit: No, you're not, my Chancellorette. Here I am] All on my own [Birgit: Nein, nein. Here I am I give a damn] Up scheisse creek with no paddle They've brought me to my knees So now it's just the two of us Birgit: And a million refugees"