"[to Meryl who is threatening him with a kitchen utensil] What are you gonna do? Slice me, dice me or peel me? There a…"

"[Sailing away in the artificially roughened winds and seas] Is that the best you can do? You're gonna have to kill me…"

"Good morning, and in case I don't see ya: Good afternoon, good evening, and good night!"

"You can't get any further away, before you start coming back."

"The early bird gathers no moss! The rolling stone catches the worm!"

"Somebody help me, I'm being spontaneous!"

"[after startling two control room directors by seemingly talking to them, then easing their concerns by seeming to re…"

"[watching himself in the mirror in the bathroom] I here by proclaim this planet as Trumania of the Burbank Galaxy!"

"[After credits at end of movie] ,"I knew this show was fake from the start, it was my incredible acting that fooled e…"

"You never had a camera in my head!"