"(when asked if he will really reform) "Of course not! My business will go on as usual...the important thing is that I…"

"Oh, well...I suppose the Joker's holiday had to end some time!"

"Oh, Batman, if you had the guts for that kind of fun you would've done it years ago. I, on the other hand..."

"What good is my money? Can I spend it like other people? No! Can I go to movies and ball games? No! The only way I ca…"

"(as he is being led to his execution as part of his master plan) "So this is the famous Last Mile, eh? Don't cry, boy…"

"Reclaimed from the dead! All crimes paid for! The slate wiped clean! The Joker is free! Ha! Ha!"

"(To Harley as he turns her into a Constellation) "You get the best seat in the house for Armageddon. Say goodnight, H…"

"(discovers that he has killed Batman) "I can't believe it. He's... he's actually gone. Let's take a moment to reflect…"

"If I weren't insane: I couldn't be so brilliant!"

"[Trying to patent "jokerized" fish]"But the fish share my unique face! If Colonel What's-His-Name can have chickens, …"