"When I was young, about eight or so, I tried making friends with God by inviting Him to my house to watch the World S…"

"You're growing up. And rain sort of remains on the branches of a tree that will someday rule the Earth. And it's good…"

"First, it's a Saturday night thing when you feel cool like a gangster or a rockstar- just something to kill the bored…"

"You gotta have presence on the court. Presence like a cheetah rather than a chimp. Sure, they both got it, but Chimpy…"

"I was just gonna sniff a bag but one guy says if you're gonna sniff you might as well pop it and another guys says if…"

"I felt dazed, like I just came out of a 4 hour movie I didn't understand."

"I got six months in Riker's Island for assault, robbery, resisting arrest, and possession of narcotics. I sweated out…"

"Know this. There's different types of users of junk. You got your rich dilettante square-ass who dabbles now and then…"

"I'll tell you what, if our school was this nice I would go there more than once a week."

"Time sure flies when you're young and jerking off."