"When I survey my life, it seems to me to be a useless one, devoted to impossible ideals. My activities continue from force of habit, and in the company of others I forget the despair which underlies my daily pursuits and pleasure. But when I am alone and idle, I cannot conceal for myself that my life had no purpose, and that I know of no new purpose to which to devote my remaining years. I find myself involved in a vast mist of solitude both emotional and metaphysical, from which I can find no issue."
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Ch. 11: Second Marriage, p. 395. Originally an Epilogue to a short autobiography written by Russell in May and June, 1931.
https://en.wikiquote.org/wiki/The_Autobiography_of_Bertrand_Russell
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The Autobiography of Bertrand Russell
1967 – 1969
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