"Anytime you got one of them down-home sheriffs, you always got a town full of vigilantes."

"I've never teamed two more unlikely prospects. You two go together like ice cream and whiskey. But I guess you'd be m…"

"Bill Bixby - Russell Donovan"

"Susan Clark - Magnolia Dusty Clydesdale"

"Don Knotts - Theodore Ogelvie"

"Tim Conway - Amos Tucker"

"David Wayne - Col. T.R. Clydesdale"

"Slim Pickens - Frank Stillwell"

"Harry Morgan - Homer McCoy"

"You know something, Amos? The Lord poured your brains in with a teaspoon, and somebody joggled His arm. I keep trying…"