"[to Lurlynn] Look at you, you have a baby... In a bar. [Lurlynn: Hell, I got 3 more at home! This one’s still on the …"

"You dumb stubborn redneck hick."

"Well, you must be Jake's hot date. I'm Melanie, Jake's snotty Yankee bitch wife whom he refuses to divorce even thoug…"

"[Drunk, at the bar] Oh Bobby Ray....why don't you just go to a gay bar. [Eldon: What would B-Ray do at a gay bar?]"

"The truth is I gave my heart away a long time ago, my whole heart, and I never really got it back."

"You're the first boy I ever kissed, Jake, and I want you to be the last."

"[After punching Kate] Nobody talks to my mama like that! [Earl Smooter: Praise the Lord, the South has risen again!]"

"[On seeing her father in his Confederate uniform] Christ Almighty, Daddy, how am I gonna explain you in New York?"

"[Seeing her father in his Confederate uniform, leaving to go to 'battle'] "People need a passport to come down here.""

"Like I could tip a cow BY MYSELF!"