"My first car was painted red down one side and blue down the other to confuse witnesses in case of an accident."

"The only exercise I ever take is walking up hospital stairs to visit friends who've damaged themselves by taking exer…"

"Before the War you took your secretary to Paris and called her your wife. Now, in order to wriggle through the tax-ga…"

"Cricket is a game which the English, not being a spiritual people, have invented in order to give themselves some con…"

"Abbreviations are the wheels of language, the wings of Mercury. And though we might be dragged along without them, it…"

"England, our native country, one of the most renowned monarchies in the world, against which the Pope beareth a speci…"

"The most high and absolute power of the realm of England consisteth in the parliament: for as in war where the king h…"

"To be short, the prince is the life, the head and the authority of all things that be done in the realm of England. A…"

"[On the 2026 Gorton and Denton by-election] I'll be totally honest, when I heard Andy Burnham wasn't being selected, …"

"Whether we're talking about the cost of living crisis, whether we're talking about the genocide in Gaza, or generally…"