"Like, I would have it at fucking TGI Fridays. I would have done it somewhere with good ranch."

"I feel like if I did a boudoir photo shoot with Beau, I would be styled as Daenerys in a giant tub filled with ranch.…"

"I want to wrap a dildo in acid and give it Kristen as a present so it tears out her insides."

"My mom has always told me that I’m a descendant of a Swedish princess, so I try and act like one."

"It's my dream to have three glasses of wine in front of me at all times."

"I am so good at making people feel like shit when they deserve to feel like shit."

"I hate you, I hate you, I hate you. Go fuck yourself and die."

"Who can say no to an open bar?"

"Why didn't I have a bottle of wine before I did this?"

"Oh, and can I have a side of balsamic vinegar? I like eating that with pizza. Top five condiments for pizza, in order…"