"It doesn't get better than this. If only I had seen the writing on the wall...I just didn't know it was in French."

"Oh yeah, and don't get me started on monsieur LeDuke—Mister 'I'm married but teenage girls make me pop my jimmy in my…"

"[in a french exam] j'ai une bouche comme dix doigts et dix doigts comme une bouche..."

"Whatcha reading? [Randolph shows her a copy of 'Do Androids Dream of Electric Sheep?' by Philip K. Dick] Oh, I like D…"

"I'm going to get you, Kermit, you're going down!"

"She went through this whole catholic thing—kissing my knees and calling herself a whore. It was like Taxicab Confessi…"

"You messed with the wrong cooze, flooze. Get ready to par-tee!"

"I didn't find her she found me, WHO IS SHE?"

"[After slapping her boyfriend] You are so fired as my boyfriend!"

"We're all capable of doing bad things. Lord knows I've done my share. Things I'm truly ashamed of. But should my life…"