"A man should always be drunk, Minnie, when he talks politics — it's the only way in which to make them important."

"The whole worl's in a state o' chassis."

"Isn't all religions curious? If they weren't you wouldn't get anyone to believe them."

"If England has any dignity left in the way of literature, she will forget for ever the pitiful antics of English Lite…"

"Wealth often takes away chances from men as well as poverty. There is none to tell the rich man to go on striving, fo…"

"The Drama's altar isn't on the stage: it is candlesticked and flowered in the box office. There is the gold, though t…"

"Laughter is wine for the soul — laughter soft, or loud and deep, tinged through with seriousness. Comedy and tragedy …"

"She dhresses herself to keep him with her, but it's no use — afther a month or two, th'wondher of a woman wears off."

"There's no reason to bring religion into it. I think we ought to have as great a regard for religion as we can, so as…"

"I wouldn't be everlasting' cockin' me earth hear every little whisper that was floatin' around me! It's my rule never…"