"I guess I’m just an old mad scientist at bottom. Give me an underground laboratory, half a dozen atom-smashers, and a beautiful girl in a diaphanous veil waiting to be turned into a chimpanzee, and I care not who writes the nation’s laws."
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Published in book form under the same title in The Most of S. J. Perelman (1992) p. 71
https://en.wikiquote.org/wiki/S._J._Perelman
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S. J. Perelman
Sidney Joseph Perelman (February 1, 1904 – October 17, 1979) was an American humorist and writer for the stage and screen. He co-wrote screenplays for the Marx Brothers (Monkey Business and Horse Feathers), and for Around the World in Eighty Days. He contributed sketches to The New Yorker.
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