"(About valet parking in Atlanta and parking the car himself) He jumped out of his truck and he gets militant. And he jumps in front of my Range Rover and puts a hand on it, he puts his hands on the hood and he goes "Nobody parks their own car in this parking lot! I park the cars in this parking lot!" Well, I rolled down my window and very politely said, "Get out my fucking way!" [audience cheers] He goes "Nobody talks to me like that! You can't park your car in this parking lot!" And I said "FUCK YOU!". He goes "I'm calling the police. What's your first and last name?" "It's Fuck You. It's F-u-c-k CAPITAL Y-O-U! Fuck you, that's my name." He gets on his radio and calls the Dalai Lama of all parking lot attendants, who calls squealing up in his little red truck. Apparently, they give 'em to 'em. He hopes outta the truck like he's gonna do something. He immediately recognizes me and you see this big "Oh shit!" wash over his face. He literally shoves this kid outta the way and starts apologizing. He said, "Mr. White. I am sorry." I said, "Listen, this kid's not doing his job. He's an insolent little piece of shit. He needs to have his ass reamed." He goes, "Mr. White, he's gonna have his ass reamed by me and my boss and my boss' boss." And I was like, "Well, I had no idea the chain of command went that deep in the parking lot business...""
Quote Details
Added by wikiquote-import-bot
Unverified quote
0 likes
Comedians from the United StatesSatirists from the United StatesStand-up comedians from the United StatesSinger-songwriters from the United StatesActors from Texas
Original Language: English
Available Languages (1)
Sources
Imported from EN Wikiquote
https://en.wikiquote.org/wiki/Ron_White
Revision History
No revisions have been submitted for this quote.
Categories
Ron White
77 quotes on TrueQuotesView all quotes by Ron White →
Related Quotes
"You ever take a crap so big, your pants fit better? Anybody ever do that? You ever...I'm hoping that happens to me la…"
"Yesterday, I was sitting on a beanbag chair naked, eating Cheetos and...[audience cheers], I was flippin' through the…"
"She and I got into another argument about the temperature of the dwelling and she took a butcher knife and slashed th…"
"I was flying from Flagstaff, Arizona to Phoenix, Arizona because my manager doesn't own a globe. We flew on a plane t…"
"The DeBeers people are almost saying what they really mean. You remember the old DeBeers slogan, "Diamonds are foreve…"
"[on vegetarianism] I didn't climb to the top of the fuckin' food chain to eat carrots."
"I get that Speedo on, it looks like a rubber band stretched over a head of cauliflower."
"Have you ever seen a healthy-looking vegetarian? They look like shit! They're all gaunt and yellow. After a while, th…"
"I've been through two hurricanes; I was in Hurricane Carla as a kid in Houston, and I was really excited during hurri…"
"I'd like to start off this show by asking you all a question, cause I don't know the answer. Uh, I lost my sunglasses…"