"Fifty percent of people want to sleep with me, and the other 50 percent want to kill me."

"Iranian president Mahmoud Ahmadinejad serves up a triple scoop of crazy, sprinkled with crazy, and topped off with wa…"

"For Dick Cheney, it must have felt just like any other day at the office: Folks who don't shave, don't bathe, and wan…"

"Al Gore could really pollute a bathroom … Just look at the guy. If someone doesn't take away his pork 'n' beans, he's…"

"The Second Amendment was meant to give citizens the right to bear arms against the government, back when Uncle Sam's …"

"Well I think we do have to define torture. One man’s torture is another man’s CIA’s sponsored swim lesson."

"I don't really pay much attention to it anymore. It's pretty ridiculous. I view it as a giant graffiti board for peop…"

"Never has outright racism been so exciting or so chic — both here in America and abroad! Kumbaya! In fact, a Ge…"

"Sarkozy was elected last year by insisting on immigrants speaking French and insisting that they integrate into the F…"

"She has very passionate opinions...she's articulate, intelligent, and we get a lot of favorable mail about her."