"Some people collect paperweights, or pre-Columbian figures, or old masters, or young mistresses, or tombstone rubbing…"

"When I finally gathered, invented, stole, simplified, borrowed, and found a publisher for a clutch of reasonably fool…"

"There are worse things than being fat, and one of them is worrying about it all the time."

"It isn't surprising that many children consider their parents to be a little dim, and that they sometimes try to upda…"

"The subject of men and women is absolutely fraught with sex, which is as it should be."

"If the author is so interested in Science, why doesn't she take a course in it?"

"He was a horse of goodly countenance, rather expressive of vigilance than fire; though an unnatural appearance of fie…"

"In the younger days of the Republic there lived in the county of —— two men, who were admitted on all hands to be the…"

"It is said that a hundred gamecocks will live in perfect harmony together it you do not put a hen with them; and so i…"

"All the knowing ones were consulted as to the issue, and they all agreed, to a man, in one of two opinions: either th…"