"Man is a victim of dope In the incurable form of hope."

"Candy Is Dandy But liquor Is quicker."

"Every New Year is the direct descendant, isn't it, of a long line of proven criminals?"

"Just when you think that at least the outlook is so black that it can grow no blacker, it worsens, And that is why I …"

"A door is what a dog is perpetually on the wrong side of."

"I dreamt that my hair was kempt. Then I dreamt that my true love unkempt it."

"It is common knowledge to every schoolboy and even every Bachelor of Arts, That all sin is divided into two parts. On…"

"The moral is that it is probably better not to sin at all, but if some kind of sin you must be pursuing, Well, rememb…"

"To keep your marriage brimming, With love in the loving cup, Whenever you're wrong, admit it; Whenever you're right, …"

"Oh, things are frequently what they seem, And this is wisdom's crown: Only the game fish swims upstream, But the sens…"