"I would love to stay at SNL forever. But you can't stay in the same place. People think you're a loser."

"My dad died, and my grandfather died, and my great-grandfather died. And the guy before him, I don't know. Probably d…"

"Patton Oswalt, he told me, "I think the worst part of the Cosby thing was the hypocrisy." And I disagreed. Yeah, I th…"

"Roseanne was so broken up [after her show was canceled] that I got Louis to call her, even though Roseanne was very h…"

"I am completely behind the #MeToo movement. You'd have to have Down Syndrome to not feel sorry for— #MeToo is what yo…"

"Every generation has believed they lived ins the End Time, @NellScovell. It is a product of Man's narcissism. Deeply,…"

"The only thing an old man can tell a young man is that it goes fast, real fast, and if you're not careful, it's too l…"

"You know, with Hitler, the more I learn about that guy the more I don't care for him."

"Macdonald is currently 49, and looks worryingly like he'll be hailed as one of the greats only in retrospect. Watch h…"

"I used to be a crime reporter for a newspaper in a midsize Canadian city. We liked to say we had a population of a mi…"