"[after breaking into Mr. Smith's apartment] Don't worry. If I were here to kill you, you would already be dead. After…"

"Finding someone you think would be fun to kill is a bit like... well, it's a bit like falling in love. You meet a lot…"

"I don't enjoy killing, Mr. Smith. I do it because I'm addicted to it."

"You always want to invest in things people can't do without. Water and cemeteries... pretty safe bets."

"[after the killing blow to Mr. Smith] Before I was the Thumbprint Killer, Mr. Smith, I killed a lot of people in a lo…"

"Why do you fight it so hard, Earl?"

"[scoffing at Earl's AA meetings] You are such a fucking hypocrite. If you were being honest, you would say, "Hi, my n…"

"For all the taxes we pay, you'd think they'd make it more difficult to hack into the police personnel file."

"[of Mr. Smith] Even if that guy was charming and funny, I still wouldn't like him."

"The hunger has returned to Mr. Brooks' brain. It never really left."