"I was at the movies yesterday, and before the movie started they had this long ad where they were trying to say … "Don't download things illegally" et cetera. And … they were like, "You wouldn't steal a purse, would you? You wouldn't think of stealing a car." And I was thinking about it … and I was like, "You know what? I would steal a car if it was as easy as, like, touching the car, and then 30 seconds later I own the car." And, like, I would steal a car if … [even though I stole] the car, the person who owned the car got to keep the car. And I would also steal a car if no one I had ever met had ever bought a car before in their whole lives."
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Stand-up comedians from the United StatesScreenwriters from the United StatesPlaywrights from the United StatesTelevision producersProducers from the United States
Original Language: English
Available Languages (1)
Sources
Comedy Death-Ray 4th Anniversary, Upright Citizens Brigade Theatre, Los Angeles, California (September 30, 2006)
https://en.wikiquote.org/wiki/Mindy_Kaling
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Mindy Kaling
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