"[to the female student body] Okay, yeah. I've got an apology. So, I have this friend who is a new student this year. And I convinced her that it would be fun to mess up Regina George's life. So I had her pretend to be friends with Regina, and then she would come to my house after school and we would just laugh about all the dumb stuff Regina said. And we gave these candy bar things that would make her gain weight, and then we turned her best friends against her. And then... oh yeah, Cady – you know my friend Cady? Well, she made out with her boyfriend, and we convinced him to break up with her. Oh, God, and we gave her foot cream instead of face wash. [to Regina] God! I am so sorry about all this, Regina. I am, really. I don't know why I did it; I just couldn't help myself. I guess it's probably because for some reason, I've got a big lesbian crush on you. And if that doesn't solve all of your problems, I don't know what will! So suck on that! AY-YI-YI-YI-YI-YI!!"