"(Offscreen) An idea for a short story about um people in Manhattan who uh are constantly creating these real, uh, unn…"

"This is so antiseptic. It's empty. Why do you think this is funny? You're going by audience reaction? This is an audi…"

"You rely too much on the brain. The brain is the most overrated organ."

"[to Yale and Emily Pollack and Tracy] Talent is luck. The important thing in life is courage."

"[to Yale Pollack] You shouldn't ask me for advice. When it comes to relationships with women, I'm the winner of the A…"

"[to Tracy] I think that people should mate for life, like pigeons or Catholics."

"I can't express anger. That's my problem. I internalize everything. I just grow a tumor instead."

"She's 17. I'm 42, and she's 17. I'm older than her father, can you believe that? I'm dating a girl, wherein, I can be…"

"[to Mary Wilke] You know a lot of geniuses, y'know. You should meet some stupid people once in a while, y'know, you c…"

"[voiceover] "Chapter One. He adored New York City. He idol­ized it all out of proportion." Uh, no, make that: "He-he …"