"If you in a relationship, you can't afford to take that shit for granted, 'cause you don't know when bullshit going to happen, and you need somebody that you can post the fuck up with in times of trouble. I didn't know you could stay single too long. Nobody fucking told me that. I fucked around, stayed single so long, now I'm in the gray area. I'm in the gray area. I didn't even know there was a gray area. I stayed single too long. Everybody I fuck, she's either too young or she's too motherfucking old. If she's too young, she's a greedy rabbit. If she's too old, she's a needy fish. Both of 'em got different shit. If she too young, you know she too young. How do you know? She is doing everything she ever saw on any porno on your nonporno dick. Shit that has nothing to do with sex at all. She just... Fellas, have you ever been fucking her, and she too young, and you realize halfway through this is not a fuck, this is a fight? She don't give a fuck about your pelvis at all. Fellas, you ever had her knock you off your pivot foot? She just... A greedy rabbit. Both of 'em talk too much. But at least the greedy rabbit is saying inspirational, motivational shit to the dick. She just, [Repeatedly] "Yes.., that's good. All right. That's good. Right. [Repeatedly] Yes..." The old one talk too much too... but you can't understand shit she saying. When you do, it's going to scare the shit out of you. She just, "Raah. Raah. Eh, glory. Ah, Jes... hah. Ah, hot water, corn bread. Ah-hah." She's too old. She's a needy fish. Got to pay attention to her. They ain't like a young one. As a fella, you just used to showing up at the battlefield... unsheathing your sword, and jumping right into the battle. Not if she too old. No, you got to watch her. You used to being able to just watch her face and know how you doing. Not if she too old, 'cause you don't know none of her faces. She fixing to come and die with the same face. How the fuck am I supposed to know? She just... Just saying, they're both different. I stayed single too motherfucking long, and the world is beginning to change. And I been hearing ladies think motherfuckers have changed as it comes to them. Ladies, I can't speak for all men in attendance today, but I can speak for all heterosexual men in attendance today, and, ladies, let me say nothing between men and women has changed at all. We love y'all now the same way we have always loved y'all. We put pussy above everything on Earth, same as usual. Pussy, then the rest of it, that's how it goes. Pussy's so good, we don't even have good reasons for it. Pussy is delicious... because it has pussy in it. That's been good enough for men for thousands of years. And as men, we hate to see pussy get attacked. We all as men remember where we were last year when we saw pussy get attacked for the first time, when Michael Douglas got on TV and said he caught throat cancer from eating pussy. Every man in the world stopped in front of his TV, like, "What the fuck, Michael Douglas?! Don't throw pussy under the bus, you son of a bitch. Say you were smoking Cuban cigars and sucking dick, you motherfucker." Life is already too hard as it is. You can't die from eating pussy. That's in Revelations. You already embarrassed to eat the box for the first time as it is. Now this bitch done got a hair in my throat. I thought she was trying to assassinate me. I... "Agh. Ah, you dirty bitch. Agh. Agh, I can't believe you brought that smoky-ass uterus over here, bitch. Agh. Ah, I feel a tumor in my throat already, bitch. Agh." In conclusion... when we leave this building, the police is going to be out there. The people that... the people that hate you not because you better than them, but because you try harder than them and you work harder than them, and you care more than they do... those people are outside, and... and the people that say even if you doing good, you is fixing to fuck up, them people are outside. And the people that see you fucked up and go, "I bet you don't come back," they outside too. But what's in here is people that know no matter how shit looks, the real shit is going to be the real shit as long as real shit is valuable. Because everybody in the world has a price, because if you didn't, you'd be priceless. This is to the motherfuckers who cannot be bought, but can be fought. Y'all been all that. [Proceeds to give thanks to producers and bid the audience good night]"