"I’m a good person but a shitty writer. You’re a shitty person but a good writer. We’d make a good team. I don’t want …"

"People just liked Hassan, the way people like fast food and celebrities."

"He'd never been all that good at math, but he was a goddamned world-famous expert in getting dumped."

"Luck is for suckers."

"People die. That’s true in novels, and it’s true in life. Dying is one of the very few things we all do. To deny or i…"

"I may not have facts on my side, Hank, but I still think I'm right. That's the American way."

"Saying 'I notice you're a nerd' is like saying, 'Hey, I notice that you'd rather be intelligent than be stupid, that …"

"Never go to war with a noun. You will always lose."

"I mean Hank, the movie was great, but the thirty minutes before the movie started was what I love about being a nerd.…"

"I cannot tell you how thankful I am for our little infinity. I wouldn't trade it for the world. You gave me forever w…"