"We've always known Jimmy's had a great deal of raw talent. It's exciting watching him use that talent to become such …"

"We hit some new lows over the weekend with the MAGA gang desperately trying to characterize this kid who murdered Cha…"

"Many in MAGA-land are working very hard to capitalize on the murder of Charlie Kirk.""

"He's a very driven, very focused and very dedicated guy, and it's basically like a dictatorship working with him. He'…"

"Anyway, as I was saying before I was interrupted, if you're just joining us, we're preempting your regularly schedule…"

"We're going to give men what they really want to see on TV. Monkeys, midgets, beer drinking and women jumping on tram…"

"We wanted to figure out a way to get crank phone calls on television. Watching someone on TV talking on a phone isn't…"

"We use puppets because they can get away with more."

"I'm excited, but I am also realistic. I have seen what happened to the people who came before me and failed. It's an …"

"I'm not seen as classy enough to host the Oscars."