"I'm quite depressed about sex at the moment [...] I don't think people are having nearly so much fun. And everywhere …"

"This woke thing is awful. Have you ever been woked? You put a hand on somebody's shoulder and you're assaulting them.…"

"[On her novels] I know they are frivolous imperfect But people love them — you should see the letters I get! Maybe on…"

"I saw this bright orange flash and thought this is it, my number has come up. There was a man above me who was talkin…"

"[On meeting the editor of The Sunday Times magazine at a dinner party in 1969.] I told him about being a young wife: …"

"[In her novel, Score, a male character is murdered while sexually aroused.] I rang Stroud police to ask whether the m…"

"[On the absence of condoms in her sex scenes.] I can't do that. When do you stop to put it on? They're awful. You see…"

"People are going to be sent to prison for saying somebody's common soon, aren't they? Really. You can’t say anybody’s…"

"They are unbelievable the upper classes, aren't they? They just have to screw. They've always been like that. I suppo…"

"There's hard porn, soft porn and Jilly Cooper. Not that Mrs Cooper's latest little nonsense would get any Portnoy awa…"