"If trees could scream, would we be so cavalier about cutting them down? We might, if they screamed all the time, for …"

"If a kid asks where rain comes from, I think a cute thing to tell him is "God is crying." And if he asks why God is c…"

"It takes a big man to cry, but it takes an even bigger man to laugh at that man."

"IF YOU ever drop your keys into a river of molten lava, let 'em go, because man, they're gone."

"TO ME, it's a good idea to always carry two sacks of something when you walk around. That way, if anybody says, "Hey,…"

"IF YOU GO through a lot of hammers each month, I don't think it necessarily means you're a hard worker. It may just m…"

"MAYBE in order to understand mankind, we have to look at the word itself. Basically, it's made up of two separate wor…"

"I guess we were kinda poor when we were kids, but we didn't know it. That's because my dad always refused to let us l…"

"He was a horse of goodly countenance, rather expressive of vigilance than fire; though an unnatural appearance of fie…"

"In the younger days of the Republic there lived in the county of —— two men, who were admitted on all hands to be the…"