"Chris Kattan - Watson Pritchett"

"Let's go down and greet your guests. Show them the real you: corny as Kansas on the fourth of July."

"Sure is a funky old house, ain't it?"

"[Discussing Evelyn's birthday party plans over the phone] Congratulations. On a scale of one to ten on the perversity…"

"Ever see one that starts at the top? 20 stories worth of top."

"Me and you all three. Woowho, lets boogie."

"What good is a million dollars when you're dead?"

"[to Eddie] Price didn't make the list, the house did... Cause she's a vengeful stupid whore! [kicks the machinery]"

"[walks slowly up to Sarah] You don't... get it... do you? This house is pissed. It has no morals, cuz it's a fucking …"

"Peter Gallagher - Donald W. Blackburn M.D."