"Come on. Where is everybody? People are starving in the former Yugoslavia."

"[answers the phone] Hello... who?... I never heard of him, consult your directory. [hangs up]"

"Henry! A car full of Larsons almost died there!"

"Into the house! Everyone! Before we're in the evening news!"

"Well, that was absurd. Let's eat dead bird!"

"When you go home, do you wonder: Who are these people?"

"On the fourth Thursday in November, 84 million American families will gather together... And wonder why."

"We'll do it every year..until we get it right"

"Holly Hunter - Claudia Larson"

"I'm giving thanks that we don't have to go through this for another year. Except we do, because those bastards went a…"