"Sampson: What would I want with a beautiful young thing when I've got you, eh?"

"Narrator: Labia and Testiculi, destined to be joined together."

"The original, classic, theatrical release."

"This looks like a job for Hercules."

"[singing] Tie a yellow ribbon round the old oak tree..."

"[to Sir Michael Kent]' Yo! Bullet head! Get back down there so we can finish doing the film!"

"Oi, oi! I'm talking to you, you rude bugger!"

"You know, you're not as stupid as you look Muriel."

"Get real, mum, I'm not marrying someone with bigger tits than me. He looks like a condom full of walnuts."

"What is that man doing with his hand on my Labia?"