"It takes one woman twenty years to make a man of her son—and another woman twenty minutes to make a fool of him."

"Oh yes, there is a vast difference between the savage and the civilized man, but it is never apparent to their wives …"

"A Bachelor of Arts is one who makes love to a lot of women, and yet has the art to remain a bachelor."

"When two people decide to get a divorce, it isn't a sign that they "don't understand" one another, but a sign that th…"

"Some women can be fooled all of the time, and all women can be fooled some of the time, but the same woman can't be f…"

"Why does a man take it for granted that a girl who flirts with him wants him to kiss her—when, nine times out of ten,…"

"France may claim the happiest marriages in the world, but the happiest divorces in the world are "made in America"."

"Wedding: the point at which a man stops toasting a woman and begins roasting her."

"A bride at her second marriage does not wear a veil. She wants to see what she is getting."

"To be happy with a man you must understand him a lot and love him a little. To be happy with a woman you must love he…"