"Jamie: Wow. And you aren't even sleeping together."

"Hazel: What's this? A miniature pony?"

"Jamie: We need a Heartbreak Bacardi and some free bartender advice over here!"

"Hazel: I don't think inflatable sheep are considered "stuffed animals.""

"Hazel: Honey, he's hot, charming, funny, and well-dressed...inevitably, that adds up to "loves the cock.""

"Jameson: My and all this time I thought you couldn't smell jealousy."

"Jamie: You know, I'd say you're cute when you're jealous, but you're really not that cute."

"Hazel: Why are all my best compliments in the form of insults?"

"Hazel: I've never despised an ellipsis so much in my life."

"Maureen: Jamie, your breasts are...legendary."