"Teach foreign how to be alive in England."

"Television is of great educational value. It teaches you while still young how to (a) kill, (b) rob, (c) embezzle, (d…"

"The trouble with tea is that originally it was quite a good drink. So a group of the most eminent British scientists …"

"An Englishman, even if he is alone, forms an orderly queue of one."

"Continental people have sex life; the English have hot-water bottles."

"In England everything is the other way round."

"On the Continent people have good food; in England, people have good table manners."

"In England funktioniert alles umgekehrt."

"Die Kontinentaleuropäer haben Sex; die Engländer haben Wärmflaschen."

"I shall leave this farm-house very soon. The people are all right, but they are people, and therefore insufferable."