"We have taller buildings but shorter tempers; wider freeways but narrower viewpoints; we spend more but have less; we…"

"When they talk about drugs, they don't talk about all of them. They never mention coffee. The low end of the speed sp…"

"You know how you speed up baseball? Everybody gets one swing. That's it, one swing, fuck you, you're out, sit down!"

"And athletes, athletes got into uppers, college athletes. The right wing's last line of defense on campus. They're do…"

"I used to be Irish Catholic; Now I'm an American. You know, you grow."

"O Beautiful, for smoggy skies, insecticided grain"

"Birth control pills are still on prescription. You still need a note to get laid."

"And now, ladies and gentlemen, that we've enjoyed some good times this evening, and enjoyed some laughter together, I…"

"There are four hundred thousand words in the English language, and there are seven you can't say on television. What …"

"I was on a talk show recently, and the host asked me, "What do you think about the dope problem?" I said, "Definitely…"