"(James) Anderson has a gift from the gods: he could swing an orange."

"They should cut Joel Garner off at the knees to make him bowl at a normal height."

"To have some idea what it's like, stand in the outside lane of a motorway, get your mate to drive his car at you at 9…"

"If my mum was alive she could captain England to play West Indies... hopeless, aren't they?"

"He's a lovely guy, that Ricky Ponting. He likes the English so much he changed the series for them with the most stup…"

"This idea that umpires are always right is a load of old cobblers. What I want to know is: Who umpires the umpires? T…"

"He can be so rude to people that sometimes you just want to punch his lights out."

"We were brought up watching opening batsmen score nine before lunch. If Geoffrey Boycott flashed at a ball outside of…"

"That, let us rail at women, scorn and flout 'em, We may live with, but cannot live without 'em."

"He wants to learn new things and to evolve as a cricketer. What you have to understand is that Joe hasn't played that…"