"Damn ninjas."

"[greeting Cobra Commander] Cool mask!"

"Well the good news is no global warming summit next month."

"On my orders, the covert special forces unit, codenamed Cobra, terminated with extreme prejudice Joe command, facilit…"

"You know, they call it a waterboard... but I never get bored!"

"Firefly - good to see we're not running low on crazy."

"DOD says I can't come out of retirement. They didn't say anything about re-enlisting."

"It's not like I don't hear what you're saying. But an impostor president?"

"[sneaking up behind the Joes] I'll take 2 boxes of Thin Mints and a box of Chuckle Lucks."

"I came here when I was fourteen, with a life expectancy of thirteen. I was bounced around from home to home until thi…"