"Illeana Douglas - Heidi Schoichet"

"Vera Farmiga - Lorena Fanchetti"

"Jessica Walter - Fern Schoichet"

"Ron Leibman - Lou Schoichet"

"Jared Harris - Michael Foulicker"

"D'you know our high school reunion's comin' up? Ten years... D'you know how depressing that is? D'you think I don't w…"

"Steven, you drive like my fucking grandma! Wait... that's actually an insult because my grandma drives better than yo…"

"[Being thrown out for throwing a tantrum in a mall.] Fucking suburbanized shit!"

"Steven Schoichet: I look both ways when I cross the street."

"Heidi Schoichet: [seeing Steven in his underwear, with his dummy dressed as a child] Steven? Gross! You look like a c…"