"Can't see my little Willy."

"Do you like Kipling?" "I don't know, you naughty boy, I've never kippled."

"For Heaven's sake, send help! There's a man trying to get into my room and the door's locked!"

"I want to back the favourite, please. My sweetheart gave me a pound to do it both ways!"

"'Isaiah' – what a funny name for a teddy bear!" "Well, you see one eye's 'igher than the other."

"I like seeing experienced girls home." "But I'm not experienced!" "You're not home yet!"

"I've been struggling for years to get a fur coat. How did you get yours?" "I left off struggling."

"Judge: "You are prevaricating, sir. Did you or did you not sleep with this woman?" Co-respondent: "Not a wink, my lord!""

"She didn't ask me to the christening, so I'm not going to the wedding."

"In the past the mood of the comic postcard could enter into the central stream of literature, and jokes barely differ…"