"This is reality without the TV."

"I popped my Spanish teacher."

"Okay, there's the Mustang, then there's the longhorn skull in his garage. And then there was the club girl, who looke…"

"[Ashley has his iPod] Okay, just relax, okay? That's 60 gigs of my life."

"Only in disturbia."

"[to Ronnie, who scares him for a prank in his closet; enraged] DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA WHAT I'VE JUST BEEN THROUGH?!?!?!"

"[Kale is watching him mow his lawn through a fence] Hey. What are you doing? What are doing? Looking at my garden? Is…"

"Listen, I get. I went to school. There were plenty of teachers I wanted to just... kill."

"So, he caught her on tape. I really didn't want this. All I wanted... was to live in peace, which is why we have to k…"

"It's okay! I'm green!"