"Our mother tried to get us to come here for many, many years … But, you know, life intervenes — we've been busy."

"The world is full of complainers. But the fact is, nothing comes with a guarantee. I don't care if you're the Pope of…"

"Something pretty fucking weird is going on. Put your coat on and I'll drop you at home. But don't talk to either of '…"

"Prison life is more structured than most men care for…"

"We're only interested in one thing, Bart. Can you tell a story? Can you make us laugh? Can you make us cry? Can you m…"

"Mind if I sit down? I'm carrying quite a load here."

"I guess that was your accomplice in the wood chipper. And those three people in Brainerd. And for what? For a little …"

"Look, let me explain something to you. I'm not Mr. Lebowski. You're Mr. Lebowski. I'm the Dude. So that's what you ca…"

"Nihilists! Fuck me. I mean, say what you like about the tenets of National Socialism, Dude, at least it's an ethos."

"My most important professional accomplishment? I think that it's that I'm so scintillating and engaging in an interview."