"Don Ameche - Art Selwyn"

"Wilford Brimley - Ben Luckett"

"Hume Cronyn - Joe Finley"

"Courteney Cox - Sara"

"Brian Dennehy - Walter"

"There's no justice! If there were, it'd be me in there instead of her! I'd trace places with her in a heartbeat!"

"Last one in is a pantywaist!"

"You work all your life, you pay taxes, you're a good citizen, and what do you end up with? A tight rug."

"Here is an eagle who just found out his teenage daughter is pregnant."

"Ruby: You know, when you want to, you can sure do a good impression of an old fart."