"If you've ever been late… you'll know what this film is all about!"

"John Cleese — Headmaster Brian Stimpson"

"Penelope Wilton — Pat Garden"

"[to his doctor] Can you get me a prettier nurse ?"

"All of my shirts have a picture of this bird on them!"

"There isn't enough penicillin in the world!"

"Eugenio Derbez as Leonardo Sullivan (Montenegro)"

"Anna Faris as Kate Sullivan"

"Eva Longoria as Theresa"

"Mel Rodriguez as Bobby"