"The whole secret of raising a fart in class is to make it sound as if it is punctuating, or commenting upon, what the teacher is saying. Timing, not ripeness, is all. 'And since x tends to y as c tends to d,' Fred expounded, 'then the differential of the increment of x squared must be... must be... come on, come on! What must it flaming be?' Here was the chance to to give my version of what it must be. I armed one, opened the bomb bay, and let it go. Unfortunately, the results far exceeded the discreet limits I had intended. It sounded like a moose coughing."
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Television personalitiesTravel writersEssayists from AustraliaJournalists from AustraliaPoets from Australia
Original Language: English
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pp. 105-6
https://en.wikiquote.org/wiki/Clive_James
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Clive James
Clive James AO, CBE, FRSL (born Vivian Leopold James; 7 October 1939 – 24 November 2019) was an expatriate Australian writer, poet, essayist, critic, television personality and commentator on popular culture.
151 quotes on TrueQuotesView all quotes by Clive James β
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