"Jennifer Schwalbach Smith - Emma"

"Jason Lee - Lance Dowds"

"You never go ass to mouth!"

"So that's the way you see all this time we've spent together? That's weird, man. I thought you were the only guy in t…"

"Man, you must love this fucking guy, 'cause he's the biggest pussy I ever met, the dude who lives his life according …"

"What's the point of having an Internet connection if you're not using it to look at weird, fucked-up pictures of dirt…"

"You're my best friend and I love you, in a totally heterosexual way. Please don't leave me."

"All right look, there's only one "Return", okạy, and it ain't of the King. It's of the Jedi."

"You know, sometimes I wish I did a little more with my life instead of hangin' out in front of places sellin' weed 'n…"

"One semester we took Criminology, for Christ's sake! Criminology! Who the fuck were we studying to be; Batman?"