"I'm not even supposed to be here today."

"Hey, try not to suck any dick on your way through the parking lot!"

"Yeah, I mean aside from the cheating, we were a great couple. I mean, that's what high school was about: algebra, bad…"

"Hey, I'm a firm believer in the philosophy of a ruling class, especially since I rule."

"Everybody who comes in here is way too uptight. This job would be great if it wasn't for the fucking customers."

"Shit, my mom's been fucking a dead guy for 30 years. I call him Dad."

"Bunch of savages in this town."

"Jay: I feel good today, Silent Bob. We're gonna make some money, then you know what we're going to do? We're gonna go…"

"Female Customer: It's important to have a job that makes a difference, boys. That's why I manually masturbate caged a…"

"Just because they serve you doesn't mean they like you."