"This dress makes me look like a Woolworths lamp shade! I'm not wearing this dress!"

"You were mentioned in the paper today, in the back with the obituaries. 'Velma Kelly's trial has been postponed indef…"

"My sister Veronica and I had this double act, and my husband Charlie traveled around with us. Now for the last number…"

"(Singing) Come on babe, why don't we paint the town? And all that jazz! I'm gonna rouge my knees and roll my stocking…"

"(Listening to a description of Roxie's trial on the radio) Oh, mama, she stole my garter...(grabs radio and shakes it…"

"(Smoking her cigarette and smoke puffs from her red lips) Cicero."

"Look honey, you want some advice? Well, here it is, direct from me to you. Keep your paws off my underwear, 'kay?"

"(Singing) My sister and I had an act that couldn't flop. My sister and I were headed straight for the top! My sister …"

"(Singing) No, I'm no one's wife, but oh, I love my life!! And all... that... Jazz!!!!"

"Oh, and by the way, here's a piece of advice from me to you: lay off the caramels."